Maybe I shouldn't be an actress because whenever I watch myself on tape, it makes me hate myself.
These British guys stopped me in Union Square on the way to have brunch with Katy. I of course thought that I gave them thoughtful, intelligent answers to their questions, but they managed to make me look like a douche bag anyway.
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Hotlanta
Just when I had dug my apron out of storage, reminded myself of the difference between Bordelaise and Béarnaise, memorized the 13 varietals in Chateauneuf-du-Pape, and braced myself for another year of bullshitting my way through wine sales and memorizing specials in the name of tip-groveling servitude, the acting Gods smiled on me and threw me a little bone. Not that little I guess. Probably like an Osso Buco bone though that still had a little marrow inside of it.
Somehow, after showcasing my acting prowess by awkwardly improvising dialogue with a stuffed bear, I managed to book an AT&T commercial. That's really what happened in the audition. First they were like, "pretend you're walking around and that you are going to use your phone to broadcast your friend singing karaoke in his room, unbeknownst to him." I think I said something like, "Oh, wow, this AT&T videoshare thing is so great, I'm going to make Alden look ridiculous. I hope he sings Journey." (Sorry Alden, for some reason your name was the first that came to mind. You know I'm terrible with improv). They thought that was good so I got to graduate to the next ridiculous audition requirement which was to sit next to a stuffed bear and to react when the bear said weird, mean things to me.
B: hey, hey, will you go out with me?
L: um, no you're a stuffed bear.
B: yeah, but, are you hungry?
L: no I'm f-
B: do you want a sandwich?
L: no really I'm n-
B: do you want swiss cheese on it?
L: no cheese makes me fart
(the director and producers laugh)
B: can I come to work with you?
L: no, I'm a waitress, you'd get-
B: do you wait tables so you can get free food?
L: no I wait tables so I can get tips. I'm a whore.
(directors and producers laugh)
When I left I thought, "wow, there is no way I will never get that job." Especially considering the fact that every other person called back had a UCB resume 3 pages long. But here I am in Atlanta through the end of the week to film this series of viral videos for AT&T. It's not like I'm starring on Broadway or anything, but at least now I can pay my rent for the next couple of months which is always very exciting. And to think all it took was fart jokes and self-deprecation. Maybe improv isn't so scary after all
Somehow, after showcasing my acting prowess by awkwardly improvising dialogue with a stuffed bear, I managed to book an AT&T commercial. That's really what happened in the audition. First they were like, "pretend you're walking around and that you are going to use your phone to broadcast your friend singing karaoke in his room, unbeknownst to him." I think I said something like, "Oh, wow, this AT&T videoshare thing is so great, I'm going to make Alden look ridiculous. I hope he sings Journey." (Sorry Alden, for some reason your name was the first that came to mind. You know I'm terrible with improv). They thought that was good so I got to graduate to the next ridiculous audition requirement which was to sit next to a stuffed bear and to react when the bear said weird, mean things to me.
B: hey, hey, will you go out with me?
L: um, no you're a stuffed bear.
B: yeah, but, are you hungry?
L: no I'm f-
B: do you want a sandwich?
L: no really I'm n-
B: do you want swiss cheese on it?
L: no cheese makes me fart
(the director and producers laugh)
B: can I come to work with you?
L: no, I'm a waitress, you'd get-
B: do you wait tables so you can get free food?
L: no I wait tables so I can get tips. I'm a whore.
(directors and producers laugh)
When I left I thought, "wow, there is no way I will never get that job." Especially considering the fact that every other person called back had a UCB resume 3 pages long. But here I am in Atlanta through the end of the week to film this series of viral videos for AT&T. It's not like I'm starring on Broadway or anything, but at least now I can pay my rent for the next couple of months which is always very exciting. And to think all it took was fart jokes and self-deprecation. Maybe improv isn't so scary after all
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